What...?

I had a relatively good weekend, last weekend. Went to a 'camping' thing with my mum, brother and dad. All my mum's friends were there, I knew two people by name, the others I didn't. My dad hated it, to say he sees himself as a spiritual person, he gets annoyed by the fact that my mother has friends, goes to visit them and has them over, and he doesn't. I found a skull on the day before we left. Well, I didn't find it, but I claimed it as my own. It was Sheila and Lewis, her son, who found it. She called me a warrior, which reminded me somewhat of Predator, which made me smile. I've still got the skull, wrapped in tissue on my desk, along with 8 of it's teeth, and a section of backbone.

Sunday was again a good day. After we came home, we moved things from the car into the house. I moved the wet skull from my pocket and onto my desk. Before going on the internet to research what the skull was. I thought it might've been a fox, or a ferret or weasel. When I claimed it, my mother shouted "Is it a fish skull?" How she managed to mis-understand what I had said about it possibly being a fox skull I'll never know. And it did turn out to be a fox skull.

Later in the night of Sunday, how I'll never quite understand, I was searching the internet and rolled upon various websites promoting online ordination. To become a legal religious minister, in under 5 minutes. Once again, what I searched to find this, I'll never quite know; but I remember once searching the English flag, and ending up looking through various English laws, and the Magna Carta. (The original English Constitution.) But even still, I decided it would be a fun thing to do, to be legally called a Reverend, able to officiate weddings, funerals, baptisms etc. I've never been a truly religious person, in the sense of praying to God, going to church. But this seemed to make me feel better. Like I could actually do something of worth, instead of sitting around on the internet, playing games or watching TV. Perhaps this could be my 'calling' in life. I've never really felt like I was good at one thing; I surly couldn't describe myself, I had to have others do it for me, nor could I tell anyone what I'm good at, once again I had to have others tell me. Perhaps it could be a simple feeling of worthlessness, not knowing what I am good at, or am able to do. But having others have to tell me, to make myself feel better.

As I've said, I've never really been a religious person. I've drifted myself between phases of obsession, this could be another one. But still, it is something which could make myself, who I could be. In the spectrum of religion, I'm a Theist. Because of what I believe the God, Father, or Creator to be, I don't believe that praying to him/it/her is the best use of time. My belief in God is that the universe, was ultimately created by one thing, an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient being. And with the creation of our universe came creation, and evolution. The Human race evolved from the micro-organisms which lived in the 'primordial soup' began to evolve and finally create the ultimate cancer of this Earth, and eventually this galaxy. Human consciousness. The God which created our universe created so much, he/she/it cannot possibly care for one, tiny race which has internal conflict every couple of years. The God is omniscient, he knows we exist, but he doesn't help us, he doesn't send evil-doers to Hell. He's a scientist, looking down into the petri dish of the universe, studying, but not involving.

Evolutionism, and creationism. I like the sound of a unified vision of God, one in which everyone can understand, learn from but remain with their teachings. Organised religion causes friction, and war. It causes cultural divides, from the likes of which only those who have turned away from the idea that the universe, Earth, it's landscape all was purely random. Even the Big Bang. I don't shin Atheism, nor do I shun other forms of opinion of God. But I wish that they could see that the idea that all of this, this Earth, this consciousness which plagues this Earth cannot be random. It's too... too complex to be simple.

Brodie. x